I've been addicted to watching makeup and hair tutorials on youtube. Talk about revolutionizing the internet. YouTube has freakin' taken off in regard to videos about ANYTHING! If you are looking for a video on how to do a smokey eye, how to bungee jump, good practical jokes, and Carly's favorite, otters holding hands... you can find it all on YouTube. It's so weird for me to think that the Internet came around in my generation. It's hard for me to imagine life without it now. But I suppose that is the way with anything... you don't know something if you've never had it. I really don't think I could have made it through college without askjeeves.com or google.com. I think that this may be why our education system is in such jeopardy now because it is so easy to find things online. I guess it would be considered a double-edged sword because on one hand, it is simple to find the information you need on Pythagoreoms Theorem for algebra, the anatomy of frog for biology, or the plot of Plato's Republic for polysci, but... on the other hand, it's SO easy, the researcher is basically required to do nothing. The fact that one can sit in front of computer, type questions into google and get exact responses to those questions that have so frequently been asked by many before, cheapens the whole experience of research. I'm sure at one point in your life, dear reader, you have taken some text from a book or a website and passed it off as your own and, you know what? Everyone does it! Why? Becuase EVERYONE has gotten away with it at one time or another. IT'S TOO EASY not to! If I took the time to go to the library, find a book, look through it for the exact information I needed, write down what I need, take it to the copier, pay for the copies, go back and find another book, therefore repeating the process over again... and meanwhile, Joe Schmoe from my class goes online to google, finds the same information in half the time with half the effort, copies and pastes it into a Word document, changes a few words so it COULD be his and we both turn the work in... it's like, WHY? Why wouldn't you do the easier way? Libraries, (as much as I love them and even work in one every Monday) are becoming so... what's the word... not to sound trite, but elementary. It's like comparing a video cassette to a dvd.
So, you're telling me that I can "fast"-forward to the part I want to watch or I can use the handy menu and just skip right to it instead? Hmm, lemme think.
Are books going out of style???
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Ship Date & Related Issues: Subject 3 on the Blogging Agenda
THE OATH
I do solomnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegianace to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and then Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
Having sworn into the Army and taken the Oath, I have orders to ship out for Basic Combat Training (BCT) on July 10, 2007. I am headed to Ft. Jackson, South Carolina for 9 weeks until I graduate in September and then am sent to Ft. Benning, Georgia to report in on September 24th for 16 weeks of Officer Candidacy School. Holy shit, right? All this basically means I will be gone from July until January. Ever since I swore in, it is literally all I can think about. I go from nervous to excited to terrified in seconds and every person I see walking around in uniform (which is a lot since I work at a Marine Corps base) I have to tell myself that they made it through Marine Corps boot camp (the hardest of the branches, as far as anyone whose anyone is oncerned) and I can make it through basic too. I got a future soldier guide about what I will be doing from week to week during basic. Some highlights: week 2: gas chamber :) Yippee, week 5: rapelling off a 60 foot wall, week 6: rifle marksmanship... OMG. Craziness. I can't believe in 41 days, I will be entering the biggest challenge of my life. Before I head out, I will put my address for basic on here and anyone can write me... I know mail will be my sustainment. :) Also, because I am going officer, I am entering basic as an E4 Specialist so I'm sure my ass will get handed to me because of that. Yay. So, that is that. :)
Out here.
I do solomnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegianace to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and then Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
Having sworn into the Army and taken the Oath, I have orders to ship out for Basic Combat Training (BCT) on July 10, 2007. I am headed to Ft. Jackson, South Carolina for 9 weeks until I graduate in September and then am sent to Ft. Benning, Georgia to report in on September 24th for 16 weeks of Officer Candidacy School. Holy shit, right? All this basically means I will be gone from July until January. Ever since I swore in, it is literally all I can think about. I go from nervous to excited to terrified in seconds and every person I see walking around in uniform (which is a lot since I work at a Marine Corps base) I have to tell myself that they made it through Marine Corps boot camp (the hardest of the branches, as far as anyone whose anyone is oncerned) and I can make it through basic too. I got a future soldier guide about what I will be doing from week to week during basic. Some highlights: week 2: gas chamber :) Yippee, week 5: rapelling off a 60 foot wall, week 6: rifle marksmanship... OMG. Craziness. I can't believe in 41 days, I will be entering the biggest challenge of my life. Before I head out, I will put my address for basic on here and anyone can write me... I know mail will be my sustainment. :) Also, because I am going officer, I am entering basic as an E4 Specialist so I'm sure my ass will get handed to me because of that. Yay. So, that is that. :)
Out here.
Weight Loss and MEPS: Subject 2 on the Blogging Agenda
WW is going awesome. I am down to 145 and have lost 16 pounds and 10 % of my body weight since I joined on March 12th. My goal is to lose another 15 by the time I head to boot camp, putting me at a nice, reasonable 130 pounds.
Hey, were you ever wondering what it would be like to hover over a toilet and pee in a cup with a woman watching your every move? How about doing the crab walk around a room while in your bra and panties and then doing jumping jacks and pushups in front of 20 other girls? Does this sound like a GREAT day to YOU?! Then you should head out to your local Military Entrance Processing Station! MEPS offers many valuable lessons including, but not limited to:
*How to hold your urine analysis cup correctly so you can spill it all over your hand!!!
*The correct way to do the crab walk so everyone in the room can see every imperfection in your body!!!
*How to do lunges so your ass can jiggle and your bare feet can slide on the cold gym floor AT THE SAME TIME!!!
*The proper way to "hurry up and wait" in line to get your eyes, ears, blood, skin, height, weight, and measurements checked so you can be at your local processing station for up to EIGHT HOURS!!!
Does this sound exciting to you? Then YOU should join the military too! All this and more awaits you and your nearby MEPS! :):):)
Hey, were you ever wondering what it would be like to hover over a toilet and pee in a cup with a woman watching your every move? How about doing the crab walk around a room while in your bra and panties and then doing jumping jacks and pushups in front of 20 other girls? Does this sound like a GREAT day to YOU?! Then you should head out to your local Military Entrance Processing Station! MEPS offers many valuable lessons including, but not limited to:
*How to hold your urine analysis cup correctly so you can spill it all over your hand!!!
*The correct way to do the crab walk so everyone in the room can see every imperfection in your body!!!
*How to do lunges so your ass can jiggle and your bare feet can slide on the cold gym floor AT THE SAME TIME!!!
*The proper way to "hurry up and wait" in line to get your eyes, ears, blood, skin, height, weight, and measurements checked so you can be at your local processing station for up to EIGHT HOURS!!!
Does this sound exciting to you? Then YOU should join the military too! All this and more awaits you and your nearby MEPS! :):):)
Officer Candidacy Board: Subject 1 of Blogging Agenda
Well, in all aspects, it has been a while. I'm actually afraid to start typing this becaue I know it is going to be a long one and I'm scared that I will type it all, go to publish, and my computer will freeze, therefore sending my blog into the abyss of the Internet. I need to make a list of what I want to talk about so I don't leave it all out when I go on a rambling rampage.
1*Army Officer Board
2*Weight Loss & MEPS
3*Ship Date & Related Issues
1
I went up on the Army Officer Candidacy board on the 28th of April and was super stressed. There have been a lot of times in my life that I have been nervous about something, but this was the interview to end all for me. If I didn't get it, I would have to wait and go back later, which doesn't seem so bad, but I would be up against the same officers who already would have a bad taste in their mouths regarding me and my abilities. So, there were five of us there: (this is also the order we went on the board)
1: THE CORPORAL: the enlisted dude who was still in and trying to become a flight officer. He was in Alphas and his MOS (military occupation specialty) was Military Police. (I have just realized that the military has a lot of acronyms for things and I'm really happy that I know some of them from Clint LOL) He was a cocky SOB and that comes back later to bite him in the ass.
2: THE PRIOR ENLISTED GIRL: (Karen Christie) super-fun chick who was 29 years old. She was in the Army enlisted 4 years ago and is now getting back in, but going the officer route. She and I made friends quickly, as we were the only females on the board and we both liked making fun of all the other dudes that sucked. :)
3: THE COLLEGE GRAD WHO IS DYING TO BECOME AN OFFICER BUT FEELS QUITE INFERIOR TO THE TWO PEOPLE HEADING TO THE BOARD BEFORE HER: this is me :)
4: THE WEIRDO: This was one of those guys that keeps saying things that he thinks are really funny, and then everyone just looks at him and tries to back away so he doesn't say another joke and continue to embarass himself. He was also wearing a suit with an old ratty brown belt and black patton-leather shoes. Plus, you know when your pants are too big and when you put the belt on, you have to like cinch it really tight so your pants don't fall off and expose your ass? Ya, that's where this dude was.
5: THE CONFIDENT GUY: This dude was dressed nice, was really polite, and kept making jokes about Full Metal Jacket and war cries (remember this) to keep everyone as calm as can be expected. He was one of those people that you're like, how the hell is this dude so collected while the rest of us are flipping out? Jerk. But, THEN, he's NOT a jerk. That's the worst!!!
So, there it is. Oh my gosh, this post is already abnormally long. I'm going to have to break it up into a couple posts here. So, moving on. We all get to Ft. Meade and Sgt Kinchen gets us all in a room and proceeds to tell us how the officers are just "normal people" with "normal feelings" and "normal intentions" except that they are deciding our fates. Oh, and that one used to be a JAG interrogator, and the other has been in 16 years because he is prior enlisted, and the main person is a female LTCOL (For those of you who don't know, officers start out at an O1 paygrade... a Lieutenant Colonel is at an O5) who was a battalion leader in Iraq before she came to Maryland. So... awesome. On that note, he ushers us all into a cubicle (no, I'm not kidding) and we stand there like fucking morons until they call us into the room of doom one by one. So, The Corporal goes in and we're all sitting there trying to relax while leaning on the unstable walls of the cubicle and all of a sudden we here, "AHHHHHHHHHH!" We're like, WTF was that? So, Confident Dude is like, oh, that's his warcry! Of course at this point, I'm thinking to myself, oh, god... I'm gonna have to do a warcry and I'm gonna say Oorah (Marine Corps warcry) instead of Hooah (Army warcry). So, I go to the bathroom and practice (quietly) in the mirror.
***Hold on, I gotta pee***
Ok, back. Oh a sidenote, I am, in all relative standards, one of the fastest pee-ers in the world. It takes me like 4 seconds to sit down, pee, wipe, and be done. It's crazy. Don't even get me started on taking a shit. (FYI: record time = 24 seconds from start to flush) I think that this will help me a lot when I am at boot camp and am being rushed to take a shit in front of 40 other girls. Yippee.... moving on
***
Also, while practicing my warcry, I practice the entrance. What I mean by that is this: the procedure to enter the room is knock on the door HARD three times, wait for them to tell you enter, and the proceed into the room. When you get there, you stand in front of the three officers and say, "Katelyn Reynolds reporting to the officer of the board." Then they tell me to sit, and I do so knees together, hands directly on knees looking straight forward until they address me. So, The Corporal comes out of the board in like 10 minutes. This is strange because they told us it would be at least 30 minutes for each of us. He tells us that it was probably bad he was so fast. He also tells us that they made him take his jacket off to see if he was wearing his nametag on his shirt underneath and when he wasn't, they were less than impressed. He said they DID make him do a warcry and that they asked him a lot of situational questions. So, the day proceeds, and Karen Christie goes in and comes out 35 minutes later and we don't have time to talk because I head in next. I do the entrance procedure and sit down. JAG dude (Capt Gregory) asks me about my schooling, what classes I had difficulties with and how I overcame the difficulties, why I picked the jobs I did (Military Intelligence, Signal Corps, and Civil Affairs) and then proceeds to look around the room while I answer all his questions. He also asks me to stop in the middle of an answer and asks me if I need a minute because I look like I am about to cry. I tell him no, that I am fine, and move on. So, 16 year vet asks me questoins about previous jobs, previous bosses, my average week, my volunteer hours, and my schooling again. Then, comes LtCol Hull. She seems very straightforward with her quesitons and even tells me that she knows how stressful this can be and to just relax. She asks me about my physical prowess and explains to me that it doesn't matter how smart I am, if I can't keep up with the boys, no one will want me to lead them. She asks me what the last leadership book I read was, and I have no answer. (P.S. since the board, I have read, the Army Officers Guide, Who Moved My Cheese, Leadership Tactics of Atilla the Hun, (GREAT book, totally recommend it) and am now reading Small Unit Leadership: A Commonsense Approach) That was pretty much it. I was in and out in 40 minutes and felt soooo much better when it was over. Bleh. So, Wierdo and Confident dude go in and come out and Weirdo gets REEMED by the board members. He is in there about an hour and when told to relax, appartently, sat back in the chair and crossed his legs. (WTF?!?!?) He had to do 4 warcries before they let him go because they weren't satisfied. Yikes. Confident dude and no problem. Jerk. :)
The end of this story is they take us in again one by one and tell us if we made it or not. The Corporal: no go, Karen Christie: left for Officer Candidacy School on May 21st and is in Ft. Benning as I write this (she didn't have to go to basic because she was enlisted in the last 4 years), Me: made it!!!!, Weirdo: didn't make it and left the building in tears, and Confident Dude: heads out July 2nd.
1*Army Officer Board
2*Weight Loss & MEPS
3*Ship Date & Related Issues
1
I went up on the Army Officer Candidacy board on the 28th of April and was super stressed. There have been a lot of times in my life that I have been nervous about something, but this was the interview to end all for me. If I didn't get it, I would have to wait and go back later, which doesn't seem so bad, but I would be up against the same officers who already would have a bad taste in their mouths regarding me and my abilities. So, there were five of us there: (this is also the order we went on the board)
1: THE CORPORAL: the enlisted dude who was still in and trying to become a flight officer. He was in Alphas and his MOS (military occupation specialty) was Military Police. (I have just realized that the military has a lot of acronyms for things and I'm really happy that I know some of them from Clint LOL) He was a cocky SOB and that comes back later to bite him in the ass.
2: THE PRIOR ENLISTED GIRL: (Karen Christie) super-fun chick who was 29 years old. She was in the Army enlisted 4 years ago and is now getting back in, but going the officer route. She and I made friends quickly, as we were the only females on the board and we both liked making fun of all the other dudes that sucked. :)
3: THE COLLEGE GRAD WHO IS DYING TO BECOME AN OFFICER BUT FEELS QUITE INFERIOR TO THE TWO PEOPLE HEADING TO THE BOARD BEFORE HER: this is me :)
4: THE WEIRDO: This was one of those guys that keeps saying things that he thinks are really funny, and then everyone just looks at him and tries to back away so he doesn't say another joke and continue to embarass himself. He was also wearing a suit with an old ratty brown belt and black patton-leather shoes. Plus, you know when your pants are too big and when you put the belt on, you have to like cinch it really tight so your pants don't fall off and expose your ass? Ya, that's where this dude was.
5: THE CONFIDENT GUY: This dude was dressed nice, was really polite, and kept making jokes about Full Metal Jacket and war cries (remember this) to keep everyone as calm as can be expected. He was one of those people that you're like, how the hell is this dude so collected while the rest of us are flipping out? Jerk. But, THEN, he's NOT a jerk. That's the worst!!!
So, there it is. Oh my gosh, this post is already abnormally long. I'm going to have to break it up into a couple posts here. So, moving on. We all get to Ft. Meade and Sgt Kinchen gets us all in a room and proceeds to tell us how the officers are just "normal people" with "normal feelings" and "normal intentions" except that they are deciding our fates. Oh, and that one used to be a JAG interrogator, and the other has been in 16 years because he is prior enlisted, and the main person is a female LTCOL (For those of you who don't know, officers start out at an O1 paygrade... a Lieutenant Colonel is at an O5) who was a battalion leader in Iraq before she came to Maryland. So... awesome. On that note, he ushers us all into a cubicle (no, I'm not kidding) and we stand there like fucking morons until they call us into the room of doom one by one. So, The Corporal goes in and we're all sitting there trying to relax while leaning on the unstable walls of the cubicle and all of a sudden we here, "AHHHHHHHHHH!" We're like, WTF was that? So, Confident Dude is like, oh, that's his warcry! Of course at this point, I'm thinking to myself, oh, god... I'm gonna have to do a warcry and I'm gonna say Oorah (Marine Corps warcry) instead of Hooah (Army warcry). So, I go to the bathroom and practice (quietly) in the mirror.
***Hold on, I gotta pee***
Ok, back. Oh a sidenote, I am, in all relative standards, one of the fastest pee-ers in the world. It takes me like 4 seconds to sit down, pee, wipe, and be done. It's crazy. Don't even get me started on taking a shit. (FYI: record time = 24 seconds from start to flush) I think that this will help me a lot when I am at boot camp and am being rushed to take a shit in front of 40 other girls. Yippee.... moving on
***
Also, while practicing my warcry, I practice the entrance. What I mean by that is this: the procedure to enter the room is knock on the door HARD three times, wait for them to tell you enter, and the proceed into the room. When you get there, you stand in front of the three officers and say, "Katelyn Reynolds reporting to the officer of the board." Then they tell me to sit, and I do so knees together, hands directly on knees looking straight forward until they address me. So, The Corporal comes out of the board in like 10 minutes. This is strange because they told us it would be at least 30 minutes for each of us. He tells us that it was probably bad he was so fast. He also tells us that they made him take his jacket off to see if he was wearing his nametag on his shirt underneath and when he wasn't, they were less than impressed. He said they DID make him do a warcry and that they asked him a lot of situational questions. So, the day proceeds, and Karen Christie goes in and comes out 35 minutes later and we don't have time to talk because I head in next. I do the entrance procedure and sit down. JAG dude (Capt Gregory) asks me about my schooling, what classes I had difficulties with and how I overcame the difficulties, why I picked the jobs I did (Military Intelligence, Signal Corps, and Civil Affairs) and then proceeds to look around the room while I answer all his questions. He also asks me to stop in the middle of an answer and asks me if I need a minute because I look like I am about to cry. I tell him no, that I am fine, and move on. So, 16 year vet asks me questoins about previous jobs, previous bosses, my average week, my volunteer hours, and my schooling again. Then, comes LtCol Hull. She seems very straightforward with her quesitons and even tells me that she knows how stressful this can be and to just relax. She asks me about my physical prowess and explains to me that it doesn't matter how smart I am, if I can't keep up with the boys, no one will want me to lead them. She asks me what the last leadership book I read was, and I have no answer. (P.S. since the board, I have read, the Army Officers Guide, Who Moved My Cheese, Leadership Tactics of Atilla the Hun, (GREAT book, totally recommend it) and am now reading Small Unit Leadership: A Commonsense Approach) That was pretty much it. I was in and out in 40 minutes and felt soooo much better when it was over. Bleh. So, Wierdo and Confident dude go in and come out and Weirdo gets REEMED by the board members. He is in there about an hour and when told to relax, appartently, sat back in the chair and crossed his legs. (WTF?!?!?) He had to do 4 warcries before they let him go because they weren't satisfied. Yikes. Confident dude and no problem. Jerk. :)
The end of this story is they take us in again one by one and tell us if we made it or not. The Corporal: no go, Karen Christie: left for Officer Candidacy School on May 21st and is in Ft. Benning as I write this (she didn't have to go to basic because she was enlisted in the last 4 years), Me: made it!!!!, Weirdo: didn't make it and left the building in tears, and Confident Dude: heads out July 2nd.
Monday, April 30, 2007
quickie
Quick update!!!
I was 1 of 3 people selected to be an Army officer!!!! I'll write the whole story in a couple hours. I have work to do... I know, weird...
I was 1 of 3 people selected to be an Army officer!!!! I'll write the whole story in a couple hours. I have work to do... I know, weird...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
FINALLY
Well, it's official. I have broken the 150 pound mark, never to return again. I have lost 12 pounds in 7 weeks and I am stoked. :):):) Things are good. The AC in my office finally got fixed today when I called and told them that I was about to pass out and would not work under these conditions. 10 minutes later, it was fixed. I was relieved but annoyed that nothing had been done earlier if it was that simple to fix in the first place. What else??? I am going to the OCS board in 2 days. It starts at 930 and I am nervous as shit. (How nervous is shit, you ask? Quite.) In 2 days, it will be over and done with. Thank God, because just thinking about it makes my stomach flip. Not much to report. I went on a 2 hour bike ride this weekend and found a batting cage where I spent the next hour rekindling my childhood softball skills. :) It was fun. I am going to take Clint out there sometime this week, so I'm excited. Good to go. Nothing else to say....
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
It has to be said
So, with all this VA Tech news racing around, I have something to say. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and so, this is mine. Firstly, (and so you all don't think I am just a heartless bitch) I just want to say that it is a tragedy. For the families that lost members, it is 100% of their lives right now and that is terrible. Secondly, and more importantly, things like this happen around the world EVERYDAY. America is so inconceivably lucky that having 33 people killed is considered a "massacre". The same day of the VA Tech shootings:
- 56 soldiers were killed in Iraq and Afganistan
- a car bomb (1 of 4) was planted in Bahgdad, ultimately killing over 178 people, including 122 construction workers that were rebuilding the city since the last blast happened
- in Egypt, a head-on collision between a school bus and a truck killed 18 students and injured eight others on a road south of Cairo
- in Rio de Janeiro, mourners fled from gunfire at a cemetery and families ran for cover on the streets, as shootouts between rival drug gangs and police killed at least 20 people
- in the Philippines, a missing Peace Corps volunteer's body was found
And yet, these headlines, that are in turn devestating when compared to a small 33 people, are in the margins of the "Brutal Massacre at Virginia Tech." I hope that when I join the military, if I happen to die for the freedom of my country and the people in it, I won't be a margin in the local paper. Imagine how the families of all the fallen soldiers, construction workers, peace corps volunteer, Brazilians, and Egyptians feel. AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL. It's sick.
- 56 soldiers were killed in Iraq and Afganistan
- a car bomb (1 of 4) was planted in Bahgdad, ultimately killing over 178 people, including 122 construction workers that were rebuilding the city since the last blast happened
- in Egypt, a head-on collision between a school bus and a truck killed 18 students and injured eight others on a road south of Cairo
- in Rio de Janeiro, mourners fled from gunfire at a cemetery and families ran for cover on the streets, as shootouts between rival drug gangs and police killed at least 20 people
- in the Philippines, a missing Peace Corps volunteer's body was found
And yet, these headlines, that are in turn devestating when compared to a small 33 people, are in the margins of the "Brutal Massacre at Virginia Tech." I hope that when I join the military, if I happen to die for the freedom of my country and the people in it, I won't be a margin in the local paper. Imagine how the families of all the fallen soldiers, construction workers, peace corps volunteer, Brazilians, and Egyptians feel. AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL. It's sick.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Officer Junk
So, for the Officer Candidacy Board on April 26th, I had to write a letter about why I wanted to become an Army officer. This is the letter:
WHY I WANT TO BE AN ARMY OFFICER
It is seldom a person can say she feels as if she is moving the right direction in her career. The unknown lurks in the bushes, crouched, anticipating her next move; waiting for her to decide which path she will take today. When she settles on the path, (whether it be the less traveled by one or not) he jumps out and shocks her into a submission that leads her right back to where she began. So many times, people are forced into compliance because they are afraid of what could happen if they make the wrong decision. They do not possess the knowledge that allows the confidence and reassurance that their choice will lead them down the best path for the person they want to become.
Many times I have stood at the crossroads of my career status. A few times, I reached a rash decision and chose to go with my instincts. The other times, I possessed the information I needed to make the right choice for me. I have been at the epitome of teenage jobs as a fast-food employee; I have been a secretary, a retail manager, and a college student. Some occupations were fitting for me, while some were lacking. Lacking the challenge, lacking the environment to excel and learn, lacking the drive that I needed to push ahead.
As far as I am concerned, the challenge is never lacking with the United States military. One is constantly pushed to improve and be the best so she can benefit from all the military has to offer and take that knowledge from the battlefield to everyday life. I know that the training I will endure will be rigorous and I will be challenged everyday, both mentally and physically. I am willing to accept this challenge to become a respected, educated, and well-trained leader. The wisdom that the military will teach me is wisdom I can get nowhere else. This insight will be used daily from my everyday tasks to my long-term goals and I believe that I am ready to accept this challenge and move forward with the United States Army.
Left behind is the ho-hum monotony of the infamous desk job and racing toward me is the life I desire: the life of a United States Army officer. This is the path that I am confident will train me to be my best and will train me to help others excel to be their best as well. I am confident in this choice and will challenge myself until that goal is a reality.
Katelyn Reynolds
April 2007
WHY I WANT TO BE AN ARMY OFFICER
It is seldom a person can say she feels as if she is moving the right direction in her career. The unknown lurks in the bushes, crouched, anticipating her next move; waiting for her to decide which path she will take today. When she settles on the path, (whether it be the less traveled by one or not) he jumps out and shocks her into a submission that leads her right back to where she began. So many times, people are forced into compliance because they are afraid of what could happen if they make the wrong decision. They do not possess the knowledge that allows the confidence and reassurance that their choice will lead them down the best path for the person they want to become.
Many times I have stood at the crossroads of my career status. A few times, I reached a rash decision and chose to go with my instincts. The other times, I possessed the information I needed to make the right choice for me. I have been at the epitome of teenage jobs as a fast-food employee; I have been a secretary, a retail manager, and a college student. Some occupations were fitting for me, while some were lacking. Lacking the challenge, lacking the environment to excel and learn, lacking the drive that I needed to push ahead.
As far as I am concerned, the challenge is never lacking with the United States military. One is constantly pushed to improve and be the best so she can benefit from all the military has to offer and take that knowledge from the battlefield to everyday life. I know that the training I will endure will be rigorous and I will be challenged everyday, both mentally and physically. I am willing to accept this challenge to become a respected, educated, and well-trained leader. The wisdom that the military will teach me is wisdom I can get nowhere else. This insight will be used daily from my everyday tasks to my long-term goals and I believe that I am ready to accept this challenge and move forward with the United States Army.
Left behind is the ho-hum monotony of the infamous desk job and racing toward me is the life I desire: the life of a United States Army officer. This is the path that I am confident will train me to be my best and will train me to help others excel to be their best as well. I am confident in this choice and will challenge myself until that goal is a reality.
Katelyn Reynolds
April 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Old poem
This is something I wrote a long time ago and found yesterday.
...how I wished I could see the Katelyn he told me he could see.
He sees a confident, funny, brilliant woman. He sees a desireable woman. He sees absolute beauty, unfailing intelligence, and an indescribable radiance.
I see the new pimple on my face.
I see every letter I have not had the discipline to write. I see the fifteen pounds I always want to lose. I see the extra mile I do not run, the dessert I do not avoid, and the sugar I am addicted to. I see all the times I felt awkward and could not think of anything intelligent to say. I see my hair out of place.
I see the moments I loved that escpaed me. I see the desperate need I had to convice everyone I am worthy of... anything. I see every mistake I ever made, every time I was unfair, every time I lost my temper, and every time I didn't try hard enough. I haven't quite figured out how to see radiance through all that
dark
cloudy
shit.
...how I wished I could see the Katelyn he told me he could see.
He sees a confident, funny, brilliant woman. He sees a desireable woman. He sees absolute beauty, unfailing intelligence, and an indescribable radiance.
I see the new pimple on my face.
I see every letter I have not had the discipline to write. I see the fifteen pounds I always want to lose. I see the extra mile I do not run, the dessert I do not avoid, and the sugar I am addicted to. I see all the times I felt awkward and could not think of anything intelligent to say. I see my hair out of place.
I see the moments I loved that escpaed me. I see the desperate need I had to convice everyone I am worthy of... anything. I see every mistake I ever made, every time I was unfair, every time I lost my temper, and every time I didn't try hard enough. I haven't quite figured out how to see radiance through all that
dark
cloudy
shit.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Blogging on a Saturday
This is very rare. I think this may be the only blog that I have actually posted on Saturday since I started this blog. This is mainly because my computer at home sucks some major ass. I think it may be maxed on viruses like college students get maxed out on credit cards. Sometimes, it just randomly turns off, and as any blogger knows, the worst thing that can happen while you're in the middle of typing a huge blog is your computer deciding to turn itself off. I'm currently at the library, which is why I have access to the Internet. Clint needed to come here to take a test for school, so I came with him, since I work here on Mondays and know where all the library crap is in the building. It is strange. Clint is starting college and getting his first library card, and I am taking DA photos and practicing my pushup, situp, running routine daily. It's like we have switched places. It's going to be strange when I am in the military and Clint is not. I don't think he will like toting around a dependent ID. I imagine it would be demasculating. If that is a word. This reminds me of something. My mother and father were both in the Navy. My dad was an enlisted torpedoman on a submarine, while my mom was an officer and a Navy nurse. In those days (this was in the 70s) insurance was only offered through USAA if you were an officer. So, my mom got insurance and then it transferred to my father when they were married. The point of this story is that whenever they call to get something verified through their insurance, my mom will answer the phone and the person on the other line will say, "May we please speak with Commander Hollywood?" They are always surprised when my mom says "speaking." It's funny that even in a world where things are supposedly equal rights and everyone fights to the death saying that there is no more glass ceiling, people still believe that some jobs are for women and some are for men. I was reading a book the other day that was saying there were now pink collar jobs. Jobs that have traditionally been womens jobs. Nurses, secretaries, things like that. I am going to be a LT in the United States Army and I am female. :) That is kickass, I think. BUT, on this note, I am mature enough to know that things like this do happen, and people still believe that females shouldn't be serving in the military and shouldn't be commanding soldiers or Marines through the field of battle. People out there are still fighting to not have women allowed to do infantry and artillary jobs in the military. I think this is for two reasons. 1: Some people don't believe women can do the job. Flat out. and 2: The American public is not ready to see the numbers of KIA and MIA soldiers and Marines creep up on the female spectrum. The thing is this: America is one of the only countries that still has a volunteer military. Countries around the world REQUIRE everyone to serve in their military. Females and males accordingly. Maybe America just needs to grow the hell up.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Hurry, Write Fast!
AHHHHH! Ok, so I got logged in to blogger for the first time in 2 weeks, but it keeps going in and out with errors on the page, so this is the third attempt at a blog in the last 20 minutes. I'll just type super fast. Here is the 411 on me right now:
*The air conditioning in my office won't be fixed until the 15th of April and then it will go down below 87 degrees for the first time in 2 weeks now.
*I am still on weight watchers and have officially lost 8.8 pounds. I want to lose 12.2 more by April 30th, so I am working my ass off to get there.
*I am going home to Utah on May 1st and will be there until the 7th when I will be traveling to Sacramento, CA to surprise my mom and dad until the 11th.
*I am getting a DA photo done for my Officer Candidacy School package on Friday, so I went to Ann Taylor yesterday and got my first pants suit... I spent 350 dollars. Ouch. But, really, it is a lovely suit. I'll post a copy of my pic and you can see how lovely it actually is. :)
*Clint is indeed getting a motorcycle, I'm not sure which one yet.
*Clint was also picked to do a fitness show on the Pentagon channel that kicks off on April 18th for 45 episodes. You can inquire on comments about getting an autographed topless picture. :)
Ok, I'm posting before this freezes again. Hopefully it works!
*The air conditioning in my office won't be fixed until the 15th of April and then it will go down below 87 degrees for the first time in 2 weeks now.
*I am still on weight watchers and have officially lost 8.8 pounds. I want to lose 12.2 more by April 30th, so I am working my ass off to get there.
*I am going home to Utah on May 1st and will be there until the 7th when I will be traveling to Sacramento, CA to surprise my mom and dad until the 11th.
*I am getting a DA photo done for my Officer Candidacy School package on Friday, so I went to Ann Taylor yesterday and got my first pants suit... I spent 350 dollars. Ouch. But, really, it is a lovely suit. I'll post a copy of my pic and you can see how lovely it actually is. :)
*Clint is indeed getting a motorcycle, I'm not sure which one yet.
*Clint was also picked to do a fitness show on the Pentagon channel that kicks off on April 18th for 45 episodes. You can inquire on comments about getting an autographed topless picture. :)
Ok, I'm posting before this freezes again. Hopefully it works!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
The Wild Hogs
Starting my 4th week of WW and I lost another 1.4 pounds last night, bringing my grand total to 6.8 pounds since March 5th. I'm stoked. In 9.2 pounds, I will have lost 10% of my body weight from when I started. Yikes.
Last night was good. We went over to Josh and Kevin's and barbequed with them, Josh's dad who's in town from Georgia, Kristen, and her roommate, Kim. It was a good time. Josh and Kevin just bought new motorcycles and I blame Kristen. Ok, prequel to all this. These people deserve a bit of explanation.
Josh:
Josh is a 6'4", 200 lb Yeti. He is a former SSgt in the Marine Corps and I met him through Clint because he was "relieved" from Color Guard and sent to the Operations Office where Clint works. At first, I didn't like him. He was always late, he was sort of annoying, and he liked to keep Clint out late because he was single and, I suppose, interrpretted Clint as being single too. I don't know. He is one of the hardest workers I have ever met and he would literally give you the shirt off his back if it would help you. He works two jobs now. One for the DEA and the other as the head bouncer at the Front Page in DC. He also goes to college online fulltime. Crazy, right? Told ya he was a workaholic. Before he met Kristen, he sort of went from girl to girl, like the normal single male in DC. He is also roommates with Kevin, whom he has been bailing out of financial trouble for years now.
Kevin:
I have known Kevin for hmmm... about 2 years, I guess. When I met him, he was attending George Washington University and worked at the Front Page with Josh. Currently, he is in the Secret Service, (which, now that I know what he does all day, seems much less glamorous than I would have originally expected) and is quite the ladies man. He is a funny guy from Maine and is currently on his 4th truck since I met him 2 years ago. He's a little accident prone. Does not bode well for a man with a new motorcycle, no? He is overall a good guy, but has a little trouble keeping things in order financially and bearing with Josh's OCD cleaning and bill paying gets to him sometimes.
Kristen:
Ohhh, Kristen. She is the "man's woman" with no doubt. She is a LT in the Army Reserves and she works with Josh at the DEA. In the Army, her MOS is Military Police and she is the commander of her division in Maryland. She is the girl that every man wants and every woman wants to be. She shoots guns, she's been overseas fighting wars, she works her ass off to get what she wants, (which includes a motorcycle, a BMW, a condo in Maine and her rent in an apartment in NE DC) and she doesn't take shit. She also has a beautiful body, works out every day, gave up candy for lent, looks great in a bikini, has naturally curly brown hair, and brown eyes. She is the kind of woman that would lure a man into bed with her body and then kick you in the face and walk out on you. She is my idol. :)
So,the deal is that Kristen has a bike, so Josh wanted a bike... because Josh looked into getting a bike, Kevn wanted a bike... do you see where this is going? Because Josh and Kevin and Kristen have bikes....
Clint wants a bike. So, what do I say? I know he wants it; I know that if he waits 10 years, he won't buy one; I know he wants to hang out with his friends and when I am at OCS, he'll ride around with them... I am just picturing Wild Hogs, I suppose. While at Ft. Benning, GA at Officer Candidacy School, I am going to get postcards:
"Hello from Virginia!" "Greetings from Maine!" "Howdy from Texas!"
LOL... I'll keep ya posted.
Last night was good. We went over to Josh and Kevin's and barbequed with them, Josh's dad who's in town from Georgia, Kristen, and her roommate, Kim. It was a good time. Josh and Kevin just bought new motorcycles and I blame Kristen. Ok, prequel to all this. These people deserve a bit of explanation.
Josh:
Josh is a 6'4", 200 lb Yeti. He is a former SSgt in the Marine Corps and I met him through Clint because he was "relieved" from Color Guard and sent to the Operations Office where Clint works. At first, I didn't like him. He was always late, he was sort of annoying, and he liked to keep Clint out late because he was single and, I suppose, interrpretted Clint as being single too. I don't know. He is one of the hardest workers I have ever met and he would literally give you the shirt off his back if it would help you. He works two jobs now. One for the DEA and the other as the head bouncer at the Front Page in DC. He also goes to college online fulltime. Crazy, right? Told ya he was a workaholic. Before he met Kristen, he sort of went from girl to girl, like the normal single male in DC. He is also roommates with Kevin, whom he has been bailing out of financial trouble for years now.
Kevin:
I have known Kevin for hmmm... about 2 years, I guess. When I met him, he was attending George Washington University and worked at the Front Page with Josh. Currently, he is in the Secret Service, (which, now that I know what he does all day, seems much less glamorous than I would have originally expected) and is quite the ladies man. He is a funny guy from Maine and is currently on his 4th truck since I met him 2 years ago. He's a little accident prone. Does not bode well for a man with a new motorcycle, no? He is overall a good guy, but has a little trouble keeping things in order financially and bearing with Josh's OCD cleaning and bill paying gets to him sometimes.
Kristen:
Ohhh, Kristen. She is the "man's woman" with no doubt. She is a LT in the Army Reserves and she works with Josh at the DEA. In the Army, her MOS is Military Police and she is the commander of her division in Maryland. She is the girl that every man wants and every woman wants to be. She shoots guns, she's been overseas fighting wars, she works her ass off to get what she wants, (which includes a motorcycle, a BMW, a condo in Maine and her rent in an apartment in NE DC) and she doesn't take shit. She also has a beautiful body, works out every day, gave up candy for lent, looks great in a bikini, has naturally curly brown hair, and brown eyes. She is the kind of woman that would lure a man into bed with her body and then kick you in the face and walk out on you. She is my idol. :)
So,the deal is that Kristen has a bike, so Josh wanted a bike... because Josh looked into getting a bike, Kevn wanted a bike... do you see where this is going? Because Josh and Kevin and Kristen have bikes....
Clint wants a bike. So, what do I say? I know he wants it; I know that if he waits 10 years, he won't buy one; I know he wants to hang out with his friends and when I am at OCS, he'll ride around with them... I am just picturing Wild Hogs, I suppose. While at Ft. Benning, GA at Officer Candidacy School, I am going to get postcards:
"Hello from Virginia!" "Greetings from Maine!" "Howdy from Texas!"
LOL... I'll keep ya posted.
Monday, March 26, 2007
The 411
Wow, I guess it's been awhile. My computer is being slow lately and so blogging has been iffy. Everytime I tried to log in, it would take forever... that does not bode well for posting, you know? So, since the 15th, we have had St. Patty's Day, my 25th birthday(including Army updates), and WW junk... so here goes:
*St. Patty's Day was not spent in a drunken stupor as so many of my college holidays have been. I spent the weekend with Jill and baby Breanna and we had a good old time. We watched chick flicks, (ex: The Holiday) and ate Lucky Charms out of the box. Good times. It was nice to remember my holiday and not wake up sick and not able to hold down a sip of water.
*My birthday consisted of great presents (my favorite being a shirt Clint gave me that said, "They're real, but the shirt is fake") and awesome dinner made by my husband. I also took the ASVAB (armed services vocational aptitude battery) after work up in Gaithersburg. Well, actually, I went to the recruiting center in Gaithersburg, MD after work and then drove with Sgt. Crawford up to Ft. Meade, which, unbeknownst to me, was an HOUR away from our starting point. This is actually a funny story. So, I leave work and head up to MD. I think it is going to take me a while because traffic is always sketchy around here. You never know when it's going to be packed or free. So, I get up there an hour and half early and get a manicure at a place about a block away from the recruiting center. It turned out lovely and even today, I am reluctant to take it off, despite the fact that it is chipping away slowly but surely on my right hand fingernails. Anyway, I get the manicure, and still have like 45 minutes, so I sit in my car and study for a half an hour and then head over. When I get there, Sgt. Crawford tells me that we have to go pick up one other dude that is also going up to Ft. Meade with us to take the ASVAB. I'm like, whatev. So, at 330, SSgt Barnes calls the dude and asks him where his house is so we can pick him up and he's like, "uh, I can't do it today, I have to babysit." HUH? Thanks for letting us know, bonehead. So, Sgt. Crawford and I head up to Ft. Meade and I take the test. It wasn't too bad, but there was an auto mechanics section that kicked my ass. Crawford comes to pick me up and we head back to Gaithersburg. OH, BY THE WAY, when we got in the car, (the Army Strong Ford Taurus) something was dinging and I'm like, what is that? We both have our seatbelts on and all the doors are closed. So, I ask and Crawford goes, "Don't worry about it." So, now, of course, I HAVE to know. Bottom line, the car is telling the driver that the brakes are going out. SOOOO, everytime the driver hits the brake... "DING!" It drove me completely mad. That's that. When we got back to the burg, it was about 8 o'clock and I had to get measured and fill out this form (AKA: 16-page packet). I start to do it and I look at the clock realize that it is going on 9 p.m. on my birthday and my husband made dinner about 2 hours ago. I felt so bad. To top it off, when I left (without finishing the form, mind you) I got lost and drove around like a fuckin retard for about 30 minutes before I found the freeway. Sheesh. So, that is that. All in all, an ok day. I got a 92 on my test and am ready to join the military. I go back to MD on Wednesday night to stay on Ft. Meade and do all my medical shit on Thursday morning. Yippee doo.
*WW is going great! I am going to meeting #4 tonight and on the 19th when I went after two weeks, I had lost 5.4 pounds! (That's a lot of butter, Laney!) So, I am excited to see what I've lost tonight. Good times. :) No more jigglies!
*St. Patty's Day was not spent in a drunken stupor as so many of my college holidays have been. I spent the weekend with Jill and baby Breanna and we had a good old time. We watched chick flicks, (ex: The Holiday) and ate Lucky Charms out of the box. Good times. It was nice to remember my holiday and not wake up sick and not able to hold down a sip of water.
*My birthday consisted of great presents (my favorite being a shirt Clint gave me that said, "They're real, but the shirt is fake") and awesome dinner made by my husband. I also took the ASVAB (armed services vocational aptitude battery) after work up in Gaithersburg. Well, actually, I went to the recruiting center in Gaithersburg, MD after work and then drove with Sgt. Crawford up to Ft. Meade, which, unbeknownst to me, was an HOUR away from our starting point. This is actually a funny story. So, I leave work and head up to MD. I think it is going to take me a while because traffic is always sketchy around here. You never know when it's going to be packed or free. So, I get up there an hour and half early and get a manicure at a place about a block away from the recruiting center. It turned out lovely and even today, I am reluctant to take it off, despite the fact that it is chipping away slowly but surely on my right hand fingernails. Anyway, I get the manicure, and still have like 45 minutes, so I sit in my car and study for a half an hour and then head over. When I get there, Sgt. Crawford tells me that we have to go pick up one other dude that is also going up to Ft. Meade with us to take the ASVAB. I'm like, whatev. So, at 330, SSgt Barnes calls the dude and asks him where his house is so we can pick him up and he's like, "uh, I can't do it today, I have to babysit." HUH? Thanks for letting us know, bonehead. So, Sgt. Crawford and I head up to Ft. Meade and I take the test. It wasn't too bad, but there was an auto mechanics section that kicked my ass. Crawford comes to pick me up and we head back to Gaithersburg. OH, BY THE WAY, when we got in the car, (the Army Strong Ford Taurus) something was dinging and I'm like, what is that? We both have our seatbelts on and all the doors are closed. So, I ask and Crawford goes, "Don't worry about it." So, now, of course, I HAVE to know. Bottom line, the car is telling the driver that the brakes are going out. SOOOO, everytime the driver hits the brake... "DING!" It drove me completely mad. That's that. When we got back to the burg, it was about 8 o'clock and I had to get measured and fill out this form (AKA: 16-page packet). I start to do it and I look at the clock realize that it is going on 9 p.m. on my birthday and my husband made dinner about 2 hours ago. I felt so bad. To top it off, when I left (without finishing the form, mind you) I got lost and drove around like a fuckin retard for about 30 minutes before I found the freeway. Sheesh. So, that is that. All in all, an ok day. I got a 92 on my test and am ready to join the military. I go back to MD on Wednesday night to stay on Ft. Meade and do all my medical shit on Thursday morning. Yippee doo.
*WW is going great! I am going to meeting #4 tonight and on the 19th when I went after two weeks, I had lost 5.4 pounds! (That's a lot of butter, Laney!) So, I am excited to see what I've lost tonight. Good times. :) No more jigglies!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
College and Other Ramblings
Ok, so the temperature in my office has crept up another degree and is not comfortably sitting at 86. I am dying. I called Clint and told him that I might not be home tonight because I will have melted in my office. It is out of control. I think I may need to get my upper lip waxed because I seem to be sweating profusely there. Speaking of which, don't you hate when you go to get your eyebrows waxed and the Vietnamese lady is like, "you want your lip done too, honey?" And you're like, "no thanks," but then for the rest of the day you are completely self-conscious about it because, uh, why would she ask otherwise unless she thought your lip looked like the spawn of the wookie from Star Wars? So, ya. Speaking of that, I need to go get my eyebrows waxed today. Blah and a blah. What else? My birthday is in 5 days. In 5 days, I'll be TWENTY FIVE. I had to write it out long hand like that to increase the dramatic effect that I will, in fact, be a quarter of a century old. Holy crap. Enough about that. I'm still hot, in case you were wondering.
What else, what else? I have to go tutor tonight after work. I tutor calculus and English. It is interesting to be on the other side of tutoring when I have struggled for so long through college and even high school with complete stupidity about certain subjects. I have always been good at English, but things like geometry? Forget it. I also hate physics and mostly all science. Coincidentally, I only had to take TWO science classes in college. Both were generals and both were a complete joke. Isn't it interesting that colleges have general courses that you are required to take, but really, unless you are intersted in them, you pretty much learn the stuff, take the test, forget it, and leave? Colleges say that general education courses are required to make a "well-rounded individual" out of its students, but that's not really true, is it? I had to take two science classes, two english classes, ONE history or political science class and a math class. It's actually pretty ridiculous when you think about it. How "well-rounded" can I be when I am going to college to get a Business degree and I remember about .1 of 1 percent of the things I was taught in my general classes. Interesting how college works, isn't it? I think that, overall, I got a VERY well-rounded education in regard to my degree because I was intersted in the classes. I wanted to learn Marketing Objectives and I practiced Advertising Techniques becuase these classes were what I went to school for. I love Marketing and Advertising, I love Economics and Business... but all the other stuff... all the Physics and Biology, all the History and Creative Writing... I just really could care less.
Tuition for Utah State University: $10,000
Books for classes you don't give a shit about: $800
Graduating college and spending your workday writing in your blog: PRICELESS
What else, what else? I have to go tutor tonight after work. I tutor calculus and English. It is interesting to be on the other side of tutoring when I have struggled for so long through college and even high school with complete stupidity about certain subjects. I have always been good at English, but things like geometry? Forget it. I also hate physics and mostly all science. Coincidentally, I only had to take TWO science classes in college. Both were generals and both were a complete joke. Isn't it interesting that colleges have general courses that you are required to take, but really, unless you are intersted in them, you pretty much learn the stuff, take the test, forget it, and leave? Colleges say that general education courses are required to make a "well-rounded individual" out of its students, but that's not really true, is it? I had to take two science classes, two english classes, ONE history or political science class and a math class. It's actually pretty ridiculous when you think about it. How "well-rounded" can I be when I am going to college to get a Business degree and I remember about .1 of 1 percent of the things I was taught in my general classes. Interesting how college works, isn't it? I think that, overall, I got a VERY well-rounded education in regard to my degree because I was intersted in the classes. I wanted to learn Marketing Objectives and I practiced Advertising Techniques becuase these classes were what I went to school for. I love Marketing and Advertising, I love Economics and Business... but all the other stuff... all the Physics and Biology, all the History and Creative Writing... I just really could care less.
Tuition for Utah State University: $10,000
Books for classes you don't give a shit about: $800
Graduating college and spending your workday writing in your blog: PRICELESS
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Working in Hell, Quite Literally
FYI:
Currently, it is 85 degrees in my office and the thermostat won't turn down. I may spontaneously combust at any moment. Watch out.
Currently, it is 85 degrees in my office and the thermostat won't turn down. I may spontaneously combust at any moment. Watch out.
Marketing
As a woman with a marketing degree, I thought I would explain a thing or two about marketing and it's explanation.
WHAT IS MARKETING?
1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
9. You are at a party; this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.
That's the Governor of California.
10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.
That's America.
WHAT IS MARKETING?
1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
9. You are at a party; this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.
That's the Governor of California.
10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.
That's America.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
2.4 pounds lighter
So, yesterday was my 2nd WWW meeting and I lost 2.4 pounds! So, I am at 158.6. I was actually kind of disappointed because I feel like I have made a complete 180 of my diet and I worked out 4 days... I dunno. I thought it would be more than that. I guess I was HOPING it would be more than that. I can't wait until I am below 150 again. I am telling you right now though, that I will never be back at 160 again. For a 5 foot tall girl, that is pretty much obese. Gross.
In other news, not related to my weight, I am going to Jilly Bean's this weekend because Clint and Mitch are going to a drill competition on Friday and Saturday and they come back on Sunday. I called Jill and told her that we should have a slumber party, so we are going to do pedicures and hot oil treatments. I don't know how the baby will respond to that, but we'll see. HAHA... just kidding. :) But, I am happy to be going there for the weekend, because I know Jill will appreciate the help and I can cook all the meals and not go off my diet! YAY! That is the worst when you are dieting and you go to someone's house, and she's like, would you like a beer and have some cheese dip with a fried potato skin. You're like, mmmmm. That reminds me of that Friends episode where Rachel makes the Trifle or something and Joey's teaching everyone how to "act" like it's good. "Rubbing your stomach like this... smile and say, 'mmmmm'!!!" LOL... ok, how did this get on my dieting again? I dunno. Sorry.
My boss is out of the office today and tomorrow so that's cool. I get to blog and chill out for a while. I reorganized the whole back room of the gift shop. I LOVE to organize things. It makes everything better. I should post a picture of what it looks like now, but it wouldn't make a difference, because you didn't see the disarray it was in before, so, you'll just have to take my word for it. Remember on Reading Rainbow when Levar Burton had those kids do that book reviews? Clint did that. He was reviewing a book about magic. LOL... how cute. But you don't have to take my word for it! Dum, dum, dum! :) Ok, I'm off to order new merchandise for the gift shop. Yipeeeeeeee.....
In other news, not related to my weight, I am going to Jilly Bean's this weekend because Clint and Mitch are going to a drill competition on Friday and Saturday and they come back on Sunday. I called Jill and told her that we should have a slumber party, so we are going to do pedicures and hot oil treatments. I don't know how the baby will respond to that, but we'll see. HAHA... just kidding. :) But, I am happy to be going there for the weekend, because I know Jill will appreciate the help and I can cook all the meals and not go off my diet! YAY! That is the worst when you are dieting and you go to someone's house, and she's like, would you like a beer and have some cheese dip with a fried potato skin. You're like, mmmmm. That reminds me of that Friends episode where Rachel makes the Trifle or something and Joey's teaching everyone how to "act" like it's good. "Rubbing your stomach like this... smile and say, 'mmmmm'!!!" LOL... ok, how did this get on my dieting again? I dunno. Sorry.
My boss is out of the office today and tomorrow so that's cool. I get to blog and chill out for a while. I reorganized the whole back room of the gift shop. I LOVE to organize things. It makes everything better. I should post a picture of what it looks like now, but it wouldn't make a difference, because you didn't see the disarray it was in before, so, you'll just have to take my word for it. Remember on Reading Rainbow when Levar Burton had those kids do that book reviews? Clint did that. He was reviewing a book about magic. LOL... how cute. But you don't have to take my word for it! Dum, dum, dum! :) Ok, I'm off to order new merchandise for the gift shop. Yipeeeeeeee.....
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Fatty McFattypants
Ok, so here it is for all to see. Luckily, I only know of like 3 people that read this and they all know I'm overweight, so big deal. Today is March 6th: the first day of the rest of my life.
Weight: 161 (Can you BELIEVE that! Holy shnike)
Measurements
Right upper arm: 11.5
Waist: 34
Hips: 41
Right thigh: 25.5
I know you all want to measure now and see how you compare to yours truly. So, go ahead. Dig out that measuring tape from your junk drawer and see how you measure up to fatty mcfattypants. I cannot believe I weight 161. Ok, I'm done. So, the deal is that I have 22 points for the day and I ate breakfast this morning (this is new and different for me because I usually wake up with just enough time to brush my teeth and leave... because I put my mascarra on in the car) and have already used up 5 points. Sheesh. This is harder than I thought. This is it, though. I feel it. I am going to the gym after work and I am doing it all right this time. I don't know about everyone else in the world, but I am definitely an all or nothing kind of person. If I fuck up once, even a little bit, I have the mindset that I should just fuck the rest of the day, or week, or this whole diet thing. So, my goal is to not let one downfall be my breaking point. We'll see how it goes.
In other news, I got the plays of Peter Schaffer yesterday from the library where I volunteer. I want to read Equus because that is the play that Daniel Radcliffe is in at the London theater and all the pictures are just him naked with a horse, so I am interested to see what it is actually about. Is this the primordial version of Beastiality? I'll let you know.
Weight: 161 (Can you BELIEVE that! Holy shnike)
Measurements
Right upper arm: 11.5
Waist: 34
Hips: 41
Right thigh: 25.5
I know you all want to measure now and see how you compare to yours truly. So, go ahead. Dig out that measuring tape from your junk drawer and see how you measure up to fatty mcfattypants. I cannot believe I weight 161. Ok, I'm done. So, the deal is that I have 22 points for the day and I ate breakfast this morning (this is new and different for me because I usually wake up with just enough time to brush my teeth and leave... because I put my mascarra on in the car) and have already used up 5 points. Sheesh. This is harder than I thought. This is it, though. I feel it. I am going to the gym after work and I am doing it all right this time. I don't know about everyone else in the world, but I am definitely an all or nothing kind of person. If I fuck up once, even a little bit, I have the mindset that I should just fuck the rest of the day, or week, or this whole diet thing. So, my goal is to not let one downfall be my breaking point. We'll see how it goes.
In other news, I got the plays of Peter Schaffer yesterday from the library where I volunteer. I want to read Equus because that is the play that Daniel Radcliffe is in at the London theater and all the pictures are just him naked with a horse, so I am interested to see what it is actually about. Is this the primordial version of Beastiality? I'll let you know.
Monday, March 5, 2007
being kate
YAY! I am all better, so I can blog again. Clint and I went to see Mitch and Jill yesterday and I got to see Breanna for the first time since she was born. She is looking good and it's nice to see that Mitch and Jill really haven't changed at all. You know when your friends have babies and all of a sudden, everything is about the BABY and you can't do anything you used to do now because of the BABY. I don't know. It is just nice to see that we can still say fuck and shit and hang out like we used to. Yes, my life is complete because I can still say fuck around a 3 week-old. God, my life is sad. I came to the frightening realization the other day and I have one friend out here. ONE. FRIEND. ONE. Clint went to work at the bar and I was like, oh I'll just call Whittney and hang out. When she couldn't, I was like, oh, I'll just call... um, I guess I'll call... I could... oh... um... I'm gonna go to the gym. Wow. That sucks. The problem is that I work at the barracks, so the only people I know are Marines and Clint knows them all too. I need to join a book club or something. I don't even know how I would go about doing that. Although, much to my fat ass chagrin, I am going to join weight watchers tonight. I just can't get these last 10 pounds off and I feel like I need help. Groups help me. Being around people that are in your same situation... I don't know. The empathy factor, I suppose. Besides, I was on it a while ago and lost 15 pounds pretty easily. So, that is that. The schedule today is:
800-330: work
400-600: library volunteering
630-730: weight watchers meeting
800-900: grocery shopping for new, healthy food :)
900-930: eat dinner. Ya, that's probably not starting out well
blah
I knew I had a sign this morning when I went to get some m&ms out of the vending machine and it ate my money. It's like, I can eat your money or you can eat this and get fatter. BLEH.
Goodbye fatty mcfattypants. Samantha is going down. I'll let you know how it goes.
WEIGHT TODAY: too much
MEASUREMENTS: too big
MINDSET: too hectic
800-330: work
400-600: library volunteering
630-730: weight watchers meeting
800-900: grocery shopping for new, healthy food :)
900-930: eat dinner. Ya, that's probably not starting out well
blah
I knew I had a sign this morning when I went to get some m&ms out of the vending machine and it ate my money. It's like, I can eat your money or you can eat this and get fatter. BLEH.
Goodbye fatty mcfattypants. Samantha is going down. I'll let you know how it goes.
WEIGHT TODAY: too much
MEASUREMENTS: too big
MINDSET: too hectic
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Where did I go?
A quickie:
I went to New Jersey last Wednesday and came back Sunday.
I took the Greyhound and it was... interesting. Story later.
Joni, the person I was visiting in NJ was sick.
I am sick as a dog with a cold from hell. Thanks, Joni.
I would love to be home sleeping, but my boss is in Pennsylvania this week, which means that I am required to be here for people to bitch at about stupid shit.
I am attempting not to use my computer too much as I just read on the Internet that cold germs can live up to 3 hours on phones, keyboards, and doorknobs.
I am still alive, but just barely.
I'll write when I am not blowing my nose every 30 seconds. :) Ahhhhchooo.
I went to New Jersey last Wednesday and came back Sunday.
I took the Greyhound and it was... interesting. Story later.
Joni, the person I was visiting in NJ was sick.
I am sick as a dog with a cold from hell. Thanks, Joni.
I would love to be home sleeping, but my boss is in Pennsylvania this week, which means that I am required to be here for people to bitch at about stupid shit.
I am attempting not to use my computer too much as I just read on the Internet that cold germs can live up to 3 hours on phones, keyboards, and doorknobs.
I am still alive, but just barely.
I'll write when I am not blowing my nose every 30 seconds. :) Ahhhhchooo.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
YouTube anarchy
Is it just me or does it seem like there is a lot of ASIAN SHIT on youtube? I just go to the most viewed videos everyday and I would say 60 or 70% has to do with fuckin Anime shit. I don't get it.
No money for U! (SU)
Sup homies. It's been almost a week since I last posted, but who cares. I had Monday off for President's Day and Clint and I pretty much lazed around and enjoyed each other's company. It was nice. In other news, I signed up for a Master's class through USU called Marketing Institutions. I graduated with a Bachelor's in marketing in December and I love marketing-related classes. I just find it so interesting to see how consumers work and how retailers manipulate them... uh, I mean... encourage them to buy their products. Ya. :) So, the funny thing is that I signed up for this class and the independent study office people told me that they would send the materials out when the class was paid for. Uh, no shit, Sherlock. So, I get paid on the 23rd, but I had a balance when I signed up for the class on the 16th. So, I paid 50 bucks of it just to secure myself in the class because I know from experience that you will get dropped from the class if you don't pay in time and then you have to go through the whole registration process all over again. It's a big pain. So, I'm like, ok, I'll pay the other 500 bucks when I get paid on the 23rd, then I can get started on the class the following week. (Note: because I registered so late, I have to have the class finished by the 20th of April. No pressure to slack off, I suppose) So, Saturday, I wander out to get the mail and there's an envelope from Utah State. "Hmm," I think to myself, "This is probably my homework that I have been waiting for."
I open it and it's all my materials for the Marketing Institutions class! What the hell?! So, I still owe 500 bucks and now it is Wednesday and I have completed 8 assignments. So, I don't think I am going to waste my entire paycheck on this class since I already have everything I need. I feel manipulative or something, but I am going to pay half with this paycheck and half in two weeks. Do you think they'll still let me turn in assignments? We'll see! :) heeheehee... evil laughter.
I open it and it's all my materials for the Marketing Institutions class! What the hell?! So, I still owe 500 bucks and now it is Wednesday and I have completed 8 assignments. So, I don't think I am going to waste my entire paycheck on this class since I already have everything I need. I feel manipulative or something, but I am going to pay half with this paycheck and half in two weeks. Do you think they'll still let me turn in assignments? We'll see! :) heeheehee... evil laughter.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Mario Piano
Ok, I was in the mood for some piano music and I found this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neAiLZcy8Qk
HOLY SHIT, he is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neAiLZcy8Qk
HOLY SHIT, he is amazing.
Post Office Annoyances
So, here is the annoying list of post office blunders (or having to do with the post office):
#1: My operations management test that I sent in on February 2nd priority mail to take 2-3 days is still missing.
#2: I have been waiting on my corrected homework to be sent out to me so that I can take the final in operations management and on Saturday, I got an envelope with my name on it and someone else's homework inside. When I called USU to inquire about this, they informed me that the envolopes must have gotten switched and they don't know where mine is.
#3: Carly's money order and super cute card that I sent out on January 23rd is still mysteriously floating in space. When I went to the post office to get my refund back, they informed me that I had to send a form to South Dakota and wait 6 weeks for it to process. This basically involves them finding the money order and sending a copy of it to me. What I don't understand is that they are sending it to me to show me who signed to get it cashed. It's addressed to CARLY LANE! How many Carly Lane's are there at that exact post office in Ohio? The update on this is that I called on Tuesday to see what was up, and the automated system said they had no information on this money order because the form was never received. WTF.
The moral of this story is: ALWAYS, ALWAYS pay the extra 50 or 60 cents to get a delivery confirmation on important things, or you get stuck in the vicious post office cycle of hell.
EDIT: Light at the end of the tunnel! I got an email from the person that received my homework. He is bringing it to the independent study office tomorrow to have them send it to me. Hopefully it gets here... knock on wood. I'll keep ya updated
EDIT #2: SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW that I can't even be annoyed by this. I go online to check if my test got to USU today and THERE WAS A SCORE! 97/100! YAY! I'm so happy it is there and not lost in the black hole of forgotten letters. The annoying thing about it is that it was marked in on February 5th. That means my professor had it the whole time and just gave it back to the office to send back, but they forgot to put it in the system when it first arrived. YAY, YAY, YAY... I don't even care that USU is full of idiots. Now, if I can just find that damn money order!!!
#1: My operations management test that I sent in on February 2nd priority mail to take 2-3 days is still missing.
#2: I have been waiting on my corrected homework to be sent out to me so that I can take the final in operations management and on Saturday, I got an envelope with my name on it and someone else's homework inside. When I called USU to inquire about this, they informed me that the envolopes must have gotten switched and they don't know where mine is.
#3: Carly's money order and super cute card that I sent out on January 23rd is still mysteriously floating in space. When I went to the post office to get my refund back, they informed me that I had to send a form to South Dakota and wait 6 weeks for it to process. This basically involves them finding the money order and sending a copy of it to me. What I don't understand is that they are sending it to me to show me who signed to get it cashed. It's addressed to CARLY LANE! How many Carly Lane's are there at that exact post office in Ohio? The update on this is that I called on Tuesday to see what was up, and the automated system said they had no information on this money order because the form was never received. WTF.
The moral of this story is: ALWAYS, ALWAYS pay the extra 50 or 60 cents to get a delivery confirmation on important things, or you get stuck in the vicious post office cycle of hell.
EDIT: Light at the end of the tunnel! I got an email from the person that received my homework. He is bringing it to the independent study office tomorrow to have them send it to me. Hopefully it gets here... knock on wood. I'll keep ya updated
EDIT #2: SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW that I can't even be annoyed by this. I go online to check if my test got to USU today and THERE WAS A SCORE! 97/100! YAY! I'm so happy it is there and not lost in the black hole of forgotten letters. The annoying thing about it is that it was marked in on February 5th. That means my professor had it the whole time and just gave it back to the office to send back, but they forgot to put it in the system when it first arrived. YAY, YAY, YAY... I don't even care that USU is full of idiots. Now, if I can just find that damn money order!!!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Life
Today is Monday. It is the 12th of February. It is the 43rd day of the year with 322 days to go until 2008. It is also Clint's 25th birthday. 25 years ago, today, Clint's mom was in was probably holding him in her arms and thinking that her entire life was about to change. My friend, Jill, is being induced today. She was supposed to be due on the 19th, but now her baby girl, Breanna Marie, is coming into the world on my husband's birthday... and she and her husband will hold their baby girl for the first time and think about how their entire life is about to change. What a feeling that must be. I cannot even begin to imagine. Clint and I are going to see Jill and Mitch and newest baby girl, Breanna, tomorrow after work. I am excited to finally meet her. I have seen her growing inside Jill's tummy for 9 months... watched her little ultrasound pictures get bigger and more recognizable. Amazing. I wonder if I will ever be able to experience that. I am in awe of life. I have watched it grow inside a friend. I have watched her and her husband's relationship change and grow stronger. Tomorrow, I will see the life they created together and get the opportunity to hold her while she experiences her first full day outside the womb. Wow. That's all I can say. Wow. God bless Jill and help her during her labor. Help her not to be too scared of the unknown. Help Mitch be strong by her side and help him to comfort Jill in her time of need. Help Breanna find her way into this world with ease. Help the Akers family to grow and love each other so fully that they didn't even know it was possible to love so much. Life. What an amazing thing.
Friday, February 9, 2007
I HATE SNAIL MAIL
I am really FUCKING ANNOYED with the post office right now. I sent Carly's card and money order on January 24th and it never got to her. Then, I call my school today to see why my test didn't post yet and it's because it was never received. That was sent out on the 2nd PRIORITY mail! I paid fucking 5 bucks to send 3 pages of mail and they fucking lost it. Priority is supposed to get there in 2 fucking days. I am so annoyed. The worst part is that they can't track the damn test because I didn't write that it needed to be signed for. WHAT THE FUCK! I don't know what to do. God fucking damit.
news
The news of the day... well, actually, the news of yesterday, is that Anna Nicole Smith died. Weird...
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Value of Time
Realizing the Value of Time
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who has failed his final exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask an editor of a weekly.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage labor.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who has failed his final exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask an editor of a weekly.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage labor.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
strange
EDIT TO LAST POST: I was trying to find Ashley's obituary online to post on here and I can't find it anywhere. Does that seem odd? Carly, find it for me :)
Death
So, Carly brought up an interesting thought in her blog today and I thought I should post my thoughts on the subject. The subject being death. Death has been my biggest fear for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl, my sister and I used to sleep in the same room and before we fell asleep, I would always say, "you're not going to kill me in my sleep, right?" It was a little weird. I also used to pretend I was dead a lot. My parents would come home from work and I would just lay in the living room with my hands crossed over my chest like how they put dead people in coffins and I would lay there and try not to breathe for as long as I could. My mom got freaked out when I kept doing things like this, so she took me a hypnotist to try and find out what the issue was. (By this time, I was about 10 and it had been going on for about 6 years) When I get there, my mom comes in with me and I get hypnotized. The doctor asks me how I think I am going to die and I say that I am going to be stabbed and murdered. (This, of course, sent my mom into complete panic) He never did find out what the issue was or where it all came from. It's strange, when I was younger, no one in my family died, I never went to a funeral or even a viewing.
Honestly, I didn't know of anyone that had died until I was in jr. high and one of my friends was hit by a car and killed. Her name was Ashley Wardle and I still think about her a lot. She and I used to sit next to each other in Science class and we would always take tests on Fridays and then pass them to each other to grade. The sneaky thing was, we wouldn't write anything on the tests except our names and the other person would circle the right answers when we graded each others tests. I never had a better grade in Science :) We used to also pass notes to each other by placing them in our respective lockers. The day before she died, I told her I had put a note in her locker that I had written the previous day, but she said she couldn't find it. She never found it because I never wrote it. The next day, she wasn't in school and there were rumors flooding the hallways that she was hit by a car the night before. Everyone thought it was just a hoax until, during first period, our principal came over the loudspeaker and told us she was killed the night before. For some reason, the fact that I had never written her that last note, always plagues me. Everything is about timing. I thought, if I had written her that note, and she had stayed by her locker 1 minute longer to read it after school, she would still be here. I dunno. That's probably stupid. I went to her viewing at Wasatch Lawn Cemetary and the line was OUT THE DOOR with students from school. I went with my friend, Sarah Aagard, and my Dad. I was TERRIFIED. When we walked into the little room where her coffin was and she was inside, I was shaking. I didn't want to look. Finally, Sarah and I were to the front of the line, and I looked at her still body laying there... lifeless. She was wearing a white dress and had a teddy bear in her hand. Her nails were painted red and that, along with her dark hair, made her pale face look ghostly. When I saw it, I started BAWLING. From fear, from pain, from sadness. Her mom and dad and brother were standing in a line by the coffin and her mom grabbed me and hugged me tight. I will never forget her saying, "I need all the hugs I can get from little girls right now." I stayed in her arms and let her hold me. I cried, I shook, I felt like I couldn't stand up for much longer. Then I left. I didn't go to the funeral the next day. I never saw Ashley's family again. I went to her grave a few times while I was still in Utah. She died on November 29th. I think of her a lot, not just on that day. After she died, I used to have dreams about her. She would come and talk to me about whatever. I slept with my lights on for 2 weeks. I miss her. I wonder where she would be today. If she would be at all. Was it just her time to go? I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Would she have been taken anyway, even if it wasn't that fateful day? I wonder if we would still be friends. I miss her.
Honestly, I didn't know of anyone that had died until I was in jr. high and one of my friends was hit by a car and killed. Her name was Ashley Wardle and I still think about her a lot. She and I used to sit next to each other in Science class and we would always take tests on Fridays and then pass them to each other to grade. The sneaky thing was, we wouldn't write anything on the tests except our names and the other person would circle the right answers when we graded each others tests. I never had a better grade in Science :) We used to also pass notes to each other by placing them in our respective lockers. The day before she died, I told her I had put a note in her locker that I had written the previous day, but she said she couldn't find it. She never found it because I never wrote it. The next day, she wasn't in school and there were rumors flooding the hallways that she was hit by a car the night before. Everyone thought it was just a hoax until, during first period, our principal came over the loudspeaker and told us she was killed the night before. For some reason, the fact that I had never written her that last note, always plagues me. Everything is about timing. I thought, if I had written her that note, and she had stayed by her locker 1 minute longer to read it after school, she would still be here. I dunno. That's probably stupid. I went to her viewing at Wasatch Lawn Cemetary and the line was OUT THE DOOR with students from school. I went with my friend, Sarah Aagard, and my Dad. I was TERRIFIED. When we walked into the little room where her coffin was and she was inside, I was shaking. I didn't want to look. Finally, Sarah and I were to the front of the line, and I looked at her still body laying there... lifeless. She was wearing a white dress and had a teddy bear in her hand. Her nails were painted red and that, along with her dark hair, made her pale face look ghostly. When I saw it, I started BAWLING. From fear, from pain, from sadness. Her mom and dad and brother were standing in a line by the coffin and her mom grabbed me and hugged me tight. I will never forget her saying, "I need all the hugs I can get from little girls right now." I stayed in her arms and let her hold me. I cried, I shook, I felt like I couldn't stand up for much longer. Then I left. I didn't go to the funeral the next day. I never saw Ashley's family again. I went to her grave a few times while I was still in Utah. She died on November 29th. I think of her a lot, not just on that day. After she died, I used to have dreams about her. She would come and talk to me about whatever. I slept with my lights on for 2 weeks. I miss her. I wonder where she would be today. If she would be at all. Was it just her time to go? I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. Would she have been taken anyway, even if it wasn't that fateful day? I wonder if we would still be friends. I miss her.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Snow in DC and Suby
Well, it finally happened. The weatherman... sorry, the weather PERSON was right. It actually snowed in DC. If you recall, last time he or she said it was going to snow, there was a plethora of rain. It started at 11 last night and went off and on until about 4 this morning. Sidenote: know what's annoying? When people say "4 a.m. in the morning" Like, uh, we know it's morning if you're saying 4 A.M. Or "11 p.m. at night." How annoying. So, anyway, Clint got up at 4 and called into the s.o.g. (sergeant of the guard) this morning to see what the "code" was for the barracks. He said that they were opening at 9 (that's 9 a.m. in the morning, in case you were wondering), so he came back to bed. Clint, not the s.o.g. We woke up at a delightful 8 o'clock and got ready. I got a ride from him, because I knew if the roads did happen to be bad, his Jeep is way more reliable than my Subaru with the bald tires. On that note, here is the story of my car. (BTW, we made it to work fine and I'm hoping Clint doesn't forget about driving in with me and leave me here to sleep in my office until tomorrow)
So, my car. I drive a 1997 Subaru Legacy Wagon. It looks like this picture, except it's silver, and has cooler hubcaps. Oh my god, I just said my station wagon has cool hubcaps. Know what's sad? It really does! This car was with my family when they lived in Holladay, UT, and when they moved to northern California, it drove them there. Before this car, we had 2 other Subarus and they were the bomb. I find them to be very reliable cars with not a lot of issues. It was with my parents in Cali for a few years where it lived a nice life and towed their boat to the nearby lake. Ya got that? TOWED THEIR BOAT! This car has some balls, dude. When Clint came back from Iraq and got stationed in Washington, my Dad and I drove "Suby" (that's pronounced Sue-Bee) the 2,722 miles from California to Virginia. My Dad flew back home and I have had her since. I haven't had a problem with her that any normal older car wouldn't have, aka, brake replacement, battery replacement, things like that. So, I was leaving for work the other day and this guy told me my tire was low. So, I stop at Chevron, take the hubcap off and put air in the tire. While driving to work, I, of course, am thinking that every pothole I hit is deflating my already low tire. When I leave work, the tire is fine (except for the missing hubcap that I cracked when I was trying to pull it off and is now sitting in the back of my car... heehee) and I drive to Costco to get them to fix the flat. They tell me there's a nail in it, fix it, and tell me that I am sorely in need of some new tires because mine are so bald, they wouldn't even pass inspection right now. No big deal. New tires, alrighty. So, I go online and look up the tires I need for Suby. HOLY SHIT! TIRES ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE!!!! So, there is 500 dollars I will never see again. That was last week. I still haven't given in. So, that's Suby for ya. Always tryin to waste my flava... or my money. Sheesh.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
EXCITATIONS
While searching over ridiculously expensive gifts for Clint, that if I had endless amounts of cash, I would buy instantly, I came across this site:
http://www.excitations.com/
This is craziness and I would love to do everything on here. I wish I had millions of dollars to blow. Damn it. Damn the man. I would love to do this for Clint:
http://www.excitations.com/take_the_wheel/?u=JmU9MTIzJjUx
Holy schnike. I think I'm gonna save up and do one of the more affordable ones. What a great idea. Things you never though you would possibly be able to do... now you can...... if you have 2,995 dollars.
http://www.excitations.com/
This is craziness and I would love to do everything on here. I wish I had millions of dollars to blow. Damn it. Damn the man. I would love to do this for Clint:
http://www.excitations.com/take_the_wheel/?u=JmU9MTIzJjUx
Holy schnike. I think I'm gonna save up and do one of the more affordable ones. What a great idea. Things you never though you would possibly be able to do... now you can...... if you have 2,995 dollars.
WTF are they called???
Ok, I need a favor. What are the big ass beanbag-like chairs called? They were really popular for a while. Are they gone now? I thought they were called Loveseats. They are like ginormous... not really a beanbag, becasue there are no beans inside, but beanbag-looking?!!! HELP!
EDIT:
LOVESACKS! For the love of a sack. Thank God, that was bugging the shit out of me. Thanks anyway!
EDIT #2: I just found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LoveSac
on Wikipedia. Strange how often I look things up and the company is in Utah or from Utah or whatever. :) I found this too and the first sentence made me laugh out loud at work:
http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/the_rebel_billionaire/2006_Feb_06_lovesac_bankrupt
EDIT:
LOVESACKS! For the love of a sack. Thank God, that was bugging the shit out of me. Thanks anyway!
EDIT #2: I just found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LoveSac
on Wikipedia. Strange how often I look things up and the company is in Utah or from Utah or whatever. :) I found this too and the first sentence made me laugh out loud at work:
http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/the_rebel_billionaire/2006_Feb_06_lovesac_bankrupt
If you are Clint, STOP READING NOW!!!
So, Clint's birthday is on the 12th. He will be 25 and that seems pretty significant to me. In my family, birthdays are a huge deal. Your birthday is the entire week and you get a present everyday. I'm starting on Saturday the 10th and going until the next Saturday, but right now it's looking like it's going to be until the next Monday, the 19th. So far, I've gotten him:
MODEL OF A HUEY HOG:
http://www.modelwarehouse.biz/53/775.htm?310
(that is a helicopter used in Veitnam in case you didn't know) This is a model that he will have to take all the parts, paint them, cut them, design them, and glue them together to make it something recognizable. He loves to do it. He is patient... I, on the other hand, am not.
HEATED SHAVING CREAM DISPENSER:
http://www.comfortchannel.com/prod.itml/icOid/883
The deal is this: we used to have a fog-free mirror in the shower that he could shave with while his skin was warm and all that. The mirror ended up sucking a.k.a. the "fog-free"ness decided it didn't want to be so fog-free afterall and then it decided to commit suicide by falling off the wall of the shower and smashing into a million tiny glass shards in the tub. Not so fabulous. So, this gift will be good becuase it will give him that "just showered" feeling on his beard without just showering.
COOKING CLASS:
http://www.fortheloveoffood.com/classes.php
He used to be really into cooking, but now doesn't do it anymore because he is just too busy or too tired. So, I signed us both up for a cooking class to learn to make some easy dishes for couples. Good times and good food. :)
CHEVRON GAS CARD:
http://www.svmcards.net/chevrontexaco/?CFID=2284086&CFTOKEN=44677636
I know this sounds lame, but he is going to love it. He drives a 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee limited edition and this thing is a gas guzzler. He'll love the fact that: 1. He won't have to pay for a couple fillups, and 2. That it is just a thoughtful gift and something for his Jeep, which he may or may not love more than, well, most things. :)
EVERLAST DESKTOP SPEEDBAG: http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__EV450
This thing is freakin awesome. In case you are random reader and don't know this: my husband is a Marine. He gets stressed and for Marines, that involves punching a fellow Marine, a wall, or something else equally unproductive. What better than punching something that is meant to be punched?! I know that everyone in his office will love it too. It will probably be completely worn out by March.
MYSTERY DINNER THEATER SHOW:
http://www.mysterydinner.com/dc_schedule.htm
We are going to the Murder Ahoy show in case you looked at that link. This is something Clint has talked about a few times in passing, but we have never really looked into going. So, I found one AND it's pirate themed! Don't ask why, but Clint thinks pirates are awesome. Did you know there was a national "Talk Like a Pirate Day"???
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
Well, you do now! Clint was totally into it along with all his buddies in the office. It was pretty entertaining. So, all in all, I am excited about this dinner show deal.
That is all I have for now. If you have any great gift ideas for a husband, a guy, a Marine, whatev, let me know! I still have a few more days to fill for the week of birthday fun! YIPPEE! Oh, and if you are Carly, STOP NOW. STOP! Ok, you've been warned. If you don't stop now, you are going to know what I sent you for your birthday. Ok, fine.
The other deal is this: For Carly's birthday, I sent her a card and a fifty dollar money order. I sent it on the 24th of January and her birthday was on the 31st. Bad news... the card still hasn't found its way there. I am worried is was lost in the mail and I don't know what to do about the money order. Should I cancel it and send a new one? How aggravating.
MODEL OF A HUEY HOG:
http://www.modelwarehouse.biz/53/775.htm?310
(that is a helicopter used in Veitnam in case you didn't know) This is a model that he will have to take all the parts, paint them, cut them, design them, and glue them together to make it something recognizable. He loves to do it. He is patient... I, on the other hand, am not.
HEATED SHAVING CREAM DISPENSER:
http://www.comfortchannel.com/prod.itml/icOid/883
The deal is this: we used to have a fog-free mirror in the shower that he could shave with while his skin was warm and all that. The mirror ended up sucking a.k.a. the "fog-free"ness decided it didn't want to be so fog-free afterall and then it decided to commit suicide by falling off the wall of the shower and smashing into a million tiny glass shards in the tub. Not so fabulous. So, this gift will be good becuase it will give him that "just showered" feeling on his beard without just showering.
COOKING CLASS:
http://www.fortheloveoffood.com/classes.php
He used to be really into cooking, but now doesn't do it anymore because he is just too busy or too tired. So, I signed us both up for a cooking class to learn to make some easy dishes for couples. Good times and good food. :)
CHEVRON GAS CARD:
http://www.svmcards.net/chevrontexaco/?CFID=2284086&CFTOKEN=44677636
I know this sounds lame, but he is going to love it. He drives a 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee limited edition and this thing is a gas guzzler. He'll love the fact that: 1. He won't have to pay for a couple fillups, and 2. That it is just a thoughtful gift and something for his Jeep, which he may or may not love more than, well, most things. :)
EVERLAST DESKTOP SPEEDBAG: http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__EV450
This thing is freakin awesome. In case you are random reader and don't know this: my husband is a Marine. He gets stressed and for Marines, that involves punching a fellow Marine, a wall, or something else equally unproductive. What better than punching something that is meant to be punched?! I know that everyone in his office will love it too. It will probably be completely worn out by March.
MYSTERY DINNER THEATER SHOW:
http://www.mysterydinner.com/dc_schedule.htm
We are going to the Murder Ahoy show in case you looked at that link. This is something Clint has talked about a few times in passing, but we have never really looked into going. So, I found one AND it's pirate themed! Don't ask why, but Clint thinks pirates are awesome. Did you know there was a national "Talk Like a Pirate Day"???
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
Well, you do now! Clint was totally into it along with all his buddies in the office. It was pretty entertaining. So, all in all, I am excited about this dinner show deal.
That is all I have for now. If you have any great gift ideas for a husband, a guy, a Marine, whatev, let me know! I still have a few more days to fill for the week of birthday fun! YIPPEE! Oh, and if you are Carly, STOP NOW. STOP! Ok, you've been warned. If you don't stop now, you are going to know what I sent you for your birthday. Ok, fine.
The other deal is this: For Carly's birthday, I sent her a card and a fifty dollar money order. I sent it on the 24th of January and her birthday was on the 31st. Bad news... the card still hasn't found its way there. I am worried is was lost in the mail and I don't know what to do about the money order. Should I cancel it and send a new one? How aggravating.
Monday, February 5, 2007
The Weekend
And once again, Carly is my hero. Yay for her and her mad technological skills.
This weekend went well.
FRIDAY
I went out to the Front Page (bar) with Whittney on Friday night while Clint was bouncing. It was fun. My drinking went like this:
Bud Light
Jager Bomb
Shot of Hypnotic
007 yum, yum
The Hypnotic, although awesome when chilled, was not chilled at the bar and was also 7.50 a shot. What a fuckin rip off... this is why I am not an alcoholic. It's too damn expensive. I ended up using like 60 bucks through the night because I was paying for Whittney's drinks too. I was kind of annoyed by this because last time she and I went out, the same thing happened. I don't know why it always ends up with her being drunk and my wallet being sadly vaccated by George, Lincoln, and Jefferson. The cool thing was that when we saw her later, she gave me 40 bucks because she felt bad. So, good times. We ended up going to Krispy Kreme when we left the bar and went home and talked until 4 a.m. when we decided we should probably go to bed. She slept at my place and I could hear her snoring through the wall, but I was so fuckin tired, I fell asleep anyway.
SATURDAY
We both woke up at 8 a.m. Ya, that would be 4 hours later, and we couldn't go back to sleep. We talked for a while and then Ryan, her husband, came over and picked her up. He had gone down to Manasass the night before and slept at the barracks at Ft. Belvoir, which is like 5 minutes from me. He was really fuckin hungover and we all pointed and laughed. It was a good time. I had some cereal and watched Boy Meets World and then Clint woke up 2 p.m. We cleaned, ran some errands then came back, ate pizza, and watched Mortal Combat. You know those movies that the action or dancing or whatever is awesome, but the acting sucks balls? It was one of those. Like Center Stage... all the people are awesome dancers, but they can't say a line convincingly for shit. So, that was that. I went to bed early because, well, ya, I had 4 hours of sleep and was tired.
SUNDAY
Woke up, showered, went to Michaels, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and Costco and then went to Mitch and Jill's for the Superbowl. I was annoyed beforehand because we invited Whittney (Ryan was working and she had nothing to do) and we told her we were leaving at 430. She calls me at 428 and says she won't make it in time. I'm like, god, you are fuckin annoying. Here's the conversation:
Me: You called? What's up?
Whitt: I'm not gonna make it by 4:30.
M: Where are you know?
W: I'm at home.
M: Ooook. Well, whatever. I guess I'll see you later then. (Knowing full well that she just wants me to tell her we will wait for her.)
W: I just don't want you to be waiting if I'm stuck in traffic or something. I'd feel bad.
M: It's fine, whatever. I'll just see ya some other time. No big deal.
W: Oh. Ok. Sorry again!
M: It's fine. Bye.
W: Bye.
So, I go and tell Clint. Oh wait! Prequel! When I got home from Costco, he told me she had called and told him to tell me to call her when I got home! Why couldn't she have just told Clint? WTF, right?! I dunno. So, I tell Clint that she is annoying and that she knew we were leaving at 430, she should have been ready. She is ALWAYS late and that bugs the shit out of me. Clint's like, well, it's not a big deal if we don't get there by 5, the game doesn't start until 630 anyway. I'm like, hello? It's the PRINCIPLE! So, then I feel bad and I call her back.
Me: How long do you think it will take you to be ready?
Whitt: Ohhhh..... ummmm.... I dunno.
M: (obviously annoyed that I gave in) Well, are we talking an hour or what?
W: Ummm... no, not an hour.
M: Well, how long?
W: I dunno.
M: (Seeing that I am going to have to spell it out for her) Ok, if you don't want to go, then let's forget it, but if you do and you're going to be like 15 minutes, then we'll wait for you.
W: Ok, I can do it in 15 minutes.
M: K, we'll wait then.
W: Are you sure? I don't want to hold you guys up! I feel so ba...
M: WHITTNEY!
W: What?
M: Stop talking and go get ready!
W: K, bye.
M: Click.
Do you see what I have to deal with here? My god. I would tell you about the party at Mitch and Jill's but I'm over typing for now. I'll write about it later.
This weekend went well.
FRIDAY
I went out to the Front Page (bar) with Whittney on Friday night while Clint was bouncing. It was fun. My drinking went like this:
Bud Light
Jager Bomb
Shot of Hypnotic
007 yum, yum
The Hypnotic, although awesome when chilled, was not chilled at the bar and was also 7.50 a shot. What a fuckin rip off... this is why I am not an alcoholic. It's too damn expensive. I ended up using like 60 bucks through the night because I was paying for Whittney's drinks too. I was kind of annoyed by this because last time she and I went out, the same thing happened. I don't know why it always ends up with her being drunk and my wallet being sadly vaccated by George, Lincoln, and Jefferson. The cool thing was that when we saw her later, she gave me 40 bucks because she felt bad. So, good times. We ended up going to Krispy Kreme when we left the bar and went home and talked until 4 a.m. when we decided we should probably go to bed. She slept at my place and I could hear her snoring through the wall, but I was so fuckin tired, I fell asleep anyway.
SATURDAY
We both woke up at 8 a.m. Ya, that would be 4 hours later, and we couldn't go back to sleep. We talked for a while and then Ryan, her husband, came over and picked her up. He had gone down to Manasass the night before and slept at the barracks at Ft. Belvoir, which is like 5 minutes from me. He was really fuckin hungover and we all pointed and laughed. It was a good time. I had some cereal and watched Boy Meets World and then Clint woke up 2 p.m. We cleaned, ran some errands then came back, ate pizza, and watched Mortal Combat. You know those movies that the action or dancing or whatever is awesome, but the acting sucks balls? It was one of those. Like Center Stage... all the people are awesome dancers, but they can't say a line convincingly for shit. So, that was that. I went to bed early because, well, ya, I had 4 hours of sleep and was tired.
SUNDAY
Woke up, showered, went to Michaels, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and Costco and then went to Mitch and Jill's for the Superbowl. I was annoyed beforehand because we invited Whittney (Ryan was working and she had nothing to do) and we told her we were leaving at 430. She calls me at 428 and says she won't make it in time. I'm like, god, you are fuckin annoying. Here's the conversation:
Me: You called? What's up?
Whitt: I'm not gonna make it by 4:30.
M: Where are you know?
W: I'm at home.
M: Ooook. Well, whatever. I guess I'll see you later then. (Knowing full well that she just wants me to tell her we will wait for her.)
W: I just don't want you to be waiting if I'm stuck in traffic or something. I'd feel bad.
M: It's fine, whatever. I'll just see ya some other time. No big deal.
W: Oh. Ok. Sorry again!
M: It's fine. Bye.
W: Bye.
So, I go and tell Clint. Oh wait! Prequel! When I got home from Costco, he told me she had called and told him to tell me to call her when I got home! Why couldn't she have just told Clint? WTF, right?! I dunno. So, I tell Clint that she is annoying and that she knew we were leaving at 430, she should have been ready. She is ALWAYS late and that bugs the shit out of me. Clint's like, well, it's not a big deal if we don't get there by 5, the game doesn't start until 630 anyway. I'm like, hello? It's the PRINCIPLE! So, then I feel bad and I call her back.
Me: How long do you think it will take you to be ready?
Whitt: Ohhhh..... ummmm.... I dunno.
M: (obviously annoyed that I gave in) Well, are we talking an hour or what?
W: Ummm... no, not an hour.
M: Well, how long?
W: I dunno.
M: (Seeing that I am going to have to spell it out for her) Ok, if you don't want to go, then let's forget it, but if you do and you're going to be like 15 minutes, then we'll wait for you.
W: Ok, I can do it in 15 minutes.
M: K, we'll wait then.
W: Are you sure? I don't want to hold you guys up! I feel so ba...
M: WHITTNEY!
W: What?
M: Stop talking and go get ready!
W: K, bye.
M: Click.
Do you see what I have to deal with here? My god. I would tell you about the party at Mitch and Jill's but I'm over typing for now. I'll write about it later.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Snow day this, mo-fos
Today it was supposed to snow. There was a weather warning starting at noon yesterday. Then it was 4pm, then it was 6pm. When Clint and I went to bed at 11pm, there was still no snow. This was aggravatign because I was hoping to get out of work today and stay home with Clint in bed. If you are unaware, the people of the DC area (consisting of Washington, northern VA and MD) are deathly afraid of snow. Anarchy ensues the minute it is mentioned as a possiblility on the news. People are running to the store in chaotic masses to buy bread, milk, eggs, and toilet paper in bulk. (Apparently french toast and shitting are the main activities on a snowy day) You think I'm kidding, but one day a few weeks ago, DC had its first snow storm of the season, and Clint and I made the mistake of going to the store to get something for dinner. Keep in mind, both Clint and I are from Utah and driving in the snow pretty much comes with the territory. We pull into the parking lot and it is a MADHOUSE!!!! Needless to say, we ended up ordering pizza. (Which took an hour to get there... sheesh)
Back to today. When I woke up at 7:00, I looked out into our parking lot and it was wet with rain. Just rain. No snow. Got that? RAIN. So, imagine my surprise when, as I was driving to work today at 8:00, Elliott in the Morning from DC101 was talking about the closings in the area. Fairfax county school opening two hours late, DC public schools opening an hour late. WTF people? It's FUCKING RAIN! Are you kidding me? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. How annoying. Must be nice to live here as a kid. I can honestly say that I remember one, count it: one, time that school was cancelled for extreme snowfall. It wasn't even during elementary school. It was while I was up in Logan at Utah State University. I walked out of my dorm elevator to go to class and the glass doors to go outside were white. Why? Because the snow was 6 feet high. I shit you not. It was crazy. It was the first time they had closed USU for weather in 30 years. So, these DC, VA, MD kids don't know how lucky they are. It's supposed to snow today or sometime this weekend, but obviously the weather isn't cooperating with the news forecasts, so we'll see.
By the way, Sam ran 5.5 mph for 2 miles on a 5% incline yesterday. Hells ya, bitches.
Back to today. When I woke up at 7:00, I looked out into our parking lot and it was wet with rain. Just rain. No snow. Got that? RAIN. So, imagine my surprise when, as I was driving to work today at 8:00, Elliott in the Morning from DC101 was talking about the closings in the area. Fairfax county school opening two hours late, DC public schools opening an hour late. WTF people? It's FUCKING RAIN! Are you kidding me? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. How annoying. Must be nice to live here as a kid. I can honestly say that I remember one, count it: one, time that school was cancelled for extreme snowfall. It wasn't even during elementary school. It was while I was up in Logan at Utah State University. I walked out of my dorm elevator to go to class and the glass doors to go outside were white. Why? Because the snow was 6 feet high. I shit you not. It was crazy. It was the first time they had closed USU for weather in 30 years. So, these DC, VA, MD kids don't know how lucky they are. It's supposed to snow today or sometime this weekend, but obviously the weather isn't cooperating with the news forecasts, so we'll see.
By the way, Sam ran 5.5 mph for 2 miles on a 5% incline yesterday. Hells ya, bitches.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Me and Samantha
Ok, Laney. Your wish is finally granted. I know you will be crying tears of joy when you see this. :) So, here is the deal for today. As a woman, I feel like I have been on a diet for...mmm... about 20 years. This is so completely ridiculous and the most annoying part about it is that I think I have been teetering around the same weight for 3 years now. (Can I just take the time to mention how cliche it is that my first blog is about my weight. God help whomever stumbles upon this blog.) The issue I have with this is the fact that, no matter how many diets I go through, how many marathons I run, how many pullups I can't do... it's just me... me being annoyed with myself that I can't commit. I think that I may change the name of my annoying alterego to Samantha. This is the name I always used when I was younger and I played house with my friends. Reasons Samantha generally bugs the everliving hell out of me:
1. She is never satisfied. This relates to things in general, but mostly to the fact that even when she does start losing weight, she is constantly thinking about how disgusting she continues to look.
2. She has some kind of insatiable hunger problem. She is ABSURDLY addicted to cereal. Any kind, any texture, any flavor. From Frosted Flakes to Lucky Charms to Honey Bunches of Oats. It is competely out of control. She could eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting and assure herself that it's ok to do this because she is using skim milk. What. An. Idiot.
3. She likes to buy clothes that look great on the hanger. If another woman is reading this, you know what a big mistake that is. Sam has a huge rack, and when she buys clothes that are hanging on the hanger and then gets home and stretches them over her huge tits, she becomes flabbergasted by the fact that the pattern has completely distorted and her bra is totally visible through the ever-stretching fabric.
4. She does that ever-annoying binge thing. No purge, just binge and listen to the fat build.
5. She likes to commit herself to things that are seemingly impossible. Marathons, Army Officer Candidacy School, doing a pull up. When I find that these things are not, in fact, impossible, I get annoyed with Sam because she thinks she knows it all and likes to rub it in my face. Bitch
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that Sam really wouldn't be considered an alter ego persay. She's just an annoying part of me. What a shame. I just looked up the definition of alter ego and it says, "another side of ones self." God, I don't know. I just know that I hate her. The end. Happy, Carly? Sheesh. The things I do for you.
1. She is never satisfied. This relates to things in general, but mostly to the fact that even when she does start losing weight, she is constantly thinking about how disgusting she continues to look.
2. She has some kind of insatiable hunger problem. She is ABSURDLY addicted to cereal. Any kind, any texture, any flavor. From Frosted Flakes to Lucky Charms to Honey Bunches of Oats. It is competely out of control. She could eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting and assure herself that it's ok to do this because she is using skim milk. What. An. Idiot.
3. She likes to buy clothes that look great on the hanger. If another woman is reading this, you know what a big mistake that is. Sam has a huge rack, and when she buys clothes that are hanging on the hanger and then gets home and stretches them over her huge tits, she becomes flabbergasted by the fact that the pattern has completely distorted and her bra is totally visible through the ever-stretching fabric.
4. She does that ever-annoying binge thing. No purge, just binge and listen to the fat build.
5. She likes to commit herself to things that are seemingly impossible. Marathons, Army Officer Candidacy School, doing a pull up. When I find that these things are not, in fact, impossible, I get annoyed with Sam because she thinks she knows it all and likes to rub it in my face. Bitch
As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that Sam really wouldn't be considered an alter ego persay. She's just an annoying part of me. What a shame. I just looked up the definition of alter ego and it says, "another side of ones self." God, I don't know. I just know that I hate her. The end. Happy, Carly? Sheesh. The things I do for you.
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